The Return

The sequel. The next episode. Part 2 – we all see this in movies that left us hanging, at the edge of our seats. Gasping for air and heart beating fast, we are all glued to the screen for the next scene. But then…there is black out. The movie credits begin to appear. Is there something more to expect?

Consequently, what if that same guy who left you with nothing but doubts, questions, hurt, pain, anger and no future in sight…suddenly makes a comeback? Out of nowhere, he shows up in front of you. How would you feel? How would you react? How would you handle the next scenes of your life?

Be a HUMAN BEING -

Whatever state you are in at that very moment, always start with a positive outlook. Don’t over think the situation. Approach it in a logical way. Welcome the opportunity that both of you now have that communication that should have happened way back. You have been separated by both time and space and there is no other way to reconnect (for good or for worse) than to release those words left unspoken. After all, you’ve shared the best and worst times before.

Remember, a guy would never spend time and much effort to anything if it’s not important to him. So make the most out of it while you can, because he will. Pour out your heart, your mind and your whole you. Don’t hold back. Now is the time to hear and be heard.

You have TWO OPTIONS - 

Now that you have exchanged words, emotions, and everything in between, you have to make a choice (and hope by now you’ve realized how much he wants you back).

Option 1 – You make up your mind. You want to move on. You are on your way to a new life without him.

Option 2 – You make up your mind. You want to move on. You are on your way to a new life with him…again.

Two options only. Nothing more in between. Don’t complicate the situation. You are on a crossroad, not a maze. To the left or to the right. Which way? What now?

Settle FOR the BETTER -

When Douglas MacArthur said those words, “I shall return,” he gave hope to a people devastated by unfair treatment and utmost pain. When your guy made that decision to return, he already made his choice. He came to his senses that whatever it takes, he will not let this situation slip away. He took the risk. He made the big step. He hopes for the better this time.

But how about you?

Whichever option you take, always settle for the better. Better in a sense that you will not regret your decision for the rest of your life. Better in a sense that both of you would benefit from it, and not just one or the other. Consider all aspects. Never focus on the downside. Always give more weight to better times. Be alive. Take the winding road with a lot of corners but never a dull moment. Make that path where no one else has dared to walk.

After all is said and done, be honest. Tell it straight in his eyes. Don’t just send a single text message. Talk it over again, face to face. No other means to seal the deal than an honest to goodness answer. The Bible says in Proverbs 24:26 (NIV), “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” You know it in your heart. Search for it. Go down deeper, look for that genuine thing inside of you. You don’t have to decide right away. Make time your ally. Smell the flowers. Watch the sun rise from the east. Cry over your favorite telenovela. Crave for your vanilla ice cream. Count the stars at night. Ask yourself a thousand times. Then, and only then, will you be able to create the next chapter that would somehow define the rest of the story.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:6-7 (NIV)

Learn to unlearn. Revive to survive. Let go but never go alone. Sometimes, a new beginning starts with a bitter ending.

Closure Time

One of the hardest moments in any relationship, be it a friendship, boyfriend-girlfriend or even marriage, is when one of you decide to call it quits. But what’s even harder and more painful is when that person suddenly and unexpectedly leaves you without a hint. No explanation whatsoever. No heart-to-heart talk to express how both of you feel for each other. No chance to communicate why it happened.

Complete silence. Doors shut with no one to open it anymore. It’s like you fell from your seat in a breath-taking ride at the amusement park. It’s as if you were thrown out of a boat in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket. You’re drowning. You’re struggling to breathe, to be afloat. But the waves around just keep pushing you away from the shore. The current beneath keeps pulling you down to the bottom of the ocean floor. Shocked. Drowning. Hit rock bottom. And you are all by yourself.

Then reality kicks in. You still have a life to live. You have to wake up again the next day. You need to recover. But how? How do you pull yourself out of that deep, lonely hole and get going? How do you move on from a past with no closure to a future with uncertainty waiting?

Step A – Accept. You start the process by accepting the fact that you are now on your own. That no matter how much you want it, it’s not going to come back. Let it go. It is the end of that chapter in your life. Let it stay in the past. Don’t hold on to it. Time to move on and continue with your life. Accept it. Breathe deeper. But don’t look back.

Step B – Back to basics. There is nothing more important in moving forward but finding and going back to yourself. Rediscover who you are and what you are capable of. Oftentimes, people tend to lose their identity when engaged in a relationship. Don’t stop there. Make that big step to find yourself again. Go back to your hobbies. Enjoy your family like you used to. Have dinner with your friends, true friends who never disappear even when you do. Surround yourself with people and things that bring you back to your senses. Take it slowly. Be determined. Keep moving.

Step C – Chase the futureThis is where you really have to work hard. Seize every opportunity. Don’t let things pass your way. Get a new job. Go to a place you haven’t been but always wanting to be. Pursue that passion and turn it into reality. Show the world you are now ready for the big time…again.

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” – Philippians 3:13b (NIV)

Let go. Regroup. Recharge. And tell the world, “I shall return.”

Trophy Girl

Every woman likes to be beautiful. To look good. To smell good. To feel good every time she steps out of her room. Time turns into a standstill when she takes her morning shower, faces the mirror and grabs her ever-loyal hairbrush. Each stroke is precious. Each moment a bliss. That’s how much she enjoys herself. That’s how much she looks at herself for the whole world to be amazed.

But some men tend to take advantage of this. There are guys who think and treat women in a different manner. More like a trophy they won in a sporting event. And after exerting much effort to claim his prize, turns it into a display for the rest of the world to see. Nothing more, nothing less. You are just a pretty face to him. A standout who is easy in the eyes of other men. Someone he could tag along anywhere and make as a source of envy. But he is proud. He likes the attention. He enjoys the praises people say because of you.

But do you? Or should you? Think about it.

A trophy. A display. A pretty face. A site to behold. Is that it? Should you feel flattered? Does this prove anything at all to you? Could you now say that you are the prettiest of them all? Would this really give you an assurance of how important you are to him? Is this the treatment you truly deserve?

The answer is simple. It is just a matter of how much you value yourself, how much you see your worth. When you first came to this world, your parents were ecstatic when they saw your face. They nurtured you, provided for you, protected you. They watched you grow and guided you every little step of the way. You endeavored to excel in school (for a good 15 years or so). You did everything to start a career and to sustain it, even to surpass it. You persevered and overcame all the hurdles of being a dependent child to an independent and achieving woman. You built your network of friends, colleagues and connections for your own good. You have everything going well for you.

You are all worth it. You were not born to satisfy one’s craving for applause, for boosting another self-esteem. You are not for sale nor up for grabs to the highest bidder. You don’t have to be someone else’s “trophy” just so you could prove and secure your worth, your true value.

You are more than that. You were created in the image of God. Don’t settle for less. Don’t undervalue yourself. Never let anyone tell you to stay inside the box. Aim higher. Dream bigger. Aspire for the better.

Stop being a trophy girl. Look for the brighter, better side. Listen to what your heart really desires and go for it.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” – Romans 8:37 (NIV)

As the Transformers would say, you are “more than meets the eye.”

More Than Words

Some say women speak more words, a lot more words than men. Some research even have put it into numbers to prove it. They say it has something to do with a certain “language protein” that women have in their brain more than men, making them the “chattier” kind. Has this been proven? Should you just accept this as it is?

Quite not sure. Would rather not.

When a woman asks a man to explain his side…whether it be during an argument, an important decision to make, a conflicting issue that needs to be resolved or simply a worry that she wants to get over with…why is it so hard for him to find the words?

Two things: (1) he keeps you away from knowing the truth, or (2) he just does not care.

The first thing – I call this the “labyrinth.” It’s a maze, a never-ending trail, a complex branching pathway. It feels like you’re going in circles, no beginning and no end. He has the answers. He knows what to say. But he would prefer to give you a series of out-of-this-world thoughts, far from what the real issue is at hand. He is like the character portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie “Catch Me If You Can.” You could try, if you can.

The second thing – I call this the “dead end.” You would not see the light at the end of the tunnel. You hit a wall. End of the road. It’s the red light on a traffic intersection. He would rather keep silent or do something else instead of engaging into a conversation. You are left hanging in the air. Nothing follows. No clue whatsoever.

“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” – Proverbs 24:26 (NIV)

Next time you ask a guy and he gives you just a few words, think again. You now know that not everything can be measured by numbers.

A Simple Answer

In every relationship, there is always that moment when the woman wants a simple answer from her man. However, as simple as it is (whether it be a “yes” or a “no”), most of the time the man finds it hard to provide a definite response. For some unknown reason, the man tends to divert the issue and goes on a different direction. He may know the answer, but opts to say otherwise. The woman then becomes emotional and unsure. The man, on the other hand, makes a big deal out of it and decides to just keep quiet and hopes to get over with it. The result? Nothing. Empty. Unknown.

This blog intends to answer those questions, everyday questions women want to ask men and expect basically a simple answer.

I believe women deserve to (1) hear and know what men really think; (2) get honest-to-goodness answers to their questions; and (3) be given the opportunity to appreciate more the nature of men and have a much better way of relating to one another.